Wow, that’s the record of a totally nice guy and school teacher.
Hey guys, welcome back to yet another Proposal of the week and I’m sure it’s for one you certainly didn’t expect, especially given how unknown this game/candidate actually is all things considered. Anyways, after having watched over a random playthrough of the game, hoping to find some eligible candidates for the Wiki, and to my surprise, there is one guy, that could just about count, even if barely.
Lets do this!
Note: This Proposal will contain mature themes of distribution of child pornography and stalking of underage children.
What’s The Work?[]
The Happyhills Homicide is a 2022 point and click horror PC game, which follows the twisted narrative of a vengeful and sadistic serial killer named John Wade, who after being pranked by the school her worked at, by four members of the school’s football team and being left for dead in the fire they caused, decides to become a serial killer to get his revenge, while an Detective named Bryan Pawalski is hot on his trail.
Who’s The Candidate?[]
Gordon Baker is a minor antagonist in the game. He is one of the many rude and hostile teachers at Pinewood High School (in particular bullying the Janitor; John Wade). However, it soon becomes apparent, that Gordon is far worse than a mere jerk towards people, when his criminal record is bought up.
What Makes Him Pathetic?[]
- At some point in his life, he decided to get involved in the criminal trade, of having children have photos taken of them, while they are completely naked, for him to sell just for money, without any sort of care or consideration for them (which makes him a complete hypocrite, given he’s a literal school teacher). Additionally, he stalked young children at playgrounds, just to get off of watching them be themselves, all of which rightly got him a criminal record (because of this, it can also be assumed he got into the child pornography business because he got aroused by naked children).
- Alongside most other people at Pinewood High School, he engaged in daily bullying and cruelty towards the Janitor; John Wade, because Wade had feelings for a kind hearted student named; Madison Carpenter (despite the later reveal she was actually his younger sister). At first, this is arguably justified, due to it being a member of staff having an admittedly unhealthy attachment towards a young student, this becomes completely hypocritical on Gordon’s part, given everything he did to much younger children and is proof that he also bullies John because he genuinely enjoys doing so.
- While his death of being painfully stabbed 16 times to death, is pretty brutal and the start of John’s moral corruption, his death isn’t treated with any real sympathy by the narrative, as he utterly deserved it for being a child abusive pervert and utter hypocrite, who condemned other people for similar acts, despite him being much worse towards young children, than John ever was to Madison.
What Makes Him a Pinhead?[]
- Despite being a school teacher of all people, he seriously thought it was a good idea to get into a child pornographic business, just to earn money and get off of looking at the pictures he’d take and distribute (as well as seemingly keep some of them), while thinking he wouldn’t get caught (which he obviously did). Additionally, him constantly going to playgrounds, just to spy on young children, also obviously backfired on him, when people caught onto the pattern and rightly reported him to the police, further showing his lack of common sense, or consideration for the consequences of his actions.
- He caused his own demise by leaving the window to his apartment open, with a ladder near it fairly late in the night, despite the fact that anyone could get into his apartment and do anything to him (which is what happens, as John breaks in and stabs Gordon to death for how badly he treated him).
Potential Consequences[]
Not a lot to talk about for this guy. Sure, we don’t know how long he was successful in his vile acts against children, but we do know that he still wasn’t a particularly smart person, to get into that kind of criminal business, while still being a school teacher in the first place, so not an issue. Also, while he is obviously a school teacher, we are given absolutely no expansion on how smart he actually is, in whatever profession he teaches in (especially as in his very limited screen time, he’s only ever behaving like an utter piece of shit). As for redeeming qualities? Fuck no, the guy is a hypocritical and perverted abuser towards young children, so no issues here.
Overall, I’d say he’s just about alright.
Final Verdict?[]
Far from the most clear cut candidate to ever be bought to the table by me, but I’m gonna give Gordon a weak yes, but it’s ultimately up to you guys. Thanks for reading and have a great day!